By Marilyn Sherman, Hall of Fame Keynote Speaker and Author of Front-Row Success
Have you ever wanted to apply for an opportunity, write a book, ask for a promotion, share an idea, or even send an awkward email, but stopped yourself before you began because you were afraid?
Here is something I want you to remember: Fear of failure has kept more people in the balcony than failure ever has.
Failure is an event. Fear of failure is a story we tell ourselves before the event has even happened. Failure may slow us down temporarily. It may teach us something, redirect us, or require us to try again. Fear, however, can keep us from ever getting out of our seats.
What Does Fear of Failure Sound Like?
Fear rarely announces itself by saying, “I am here to keep you from growing.” Instead, it sounds reasonable and protective.
It asks, “What if I’m not good enough?” “What if they say no?” “What if I embarrass myself?” “What if I try and it doesn’t work?”
Those questions may sound like careful planning, but they can become excuses for remaining in the balcony and watching other people pursue the opportunities we want.
Here is another question worth asking: What if it does work?
What if you are more capable than you realize? What if the opportunity you want is waiting for you to take the first step? What if the confidence you are waiting to feel will not arrive until after you act?
Confidence Often Comes After Action
We frequently assume confident people take action because they are not afraid. That is not always true.
Courageous people experience fear, uncertainty, and self-doubt, too. They simply decide that the outcome they want matters more than the discomfort they feel.
Confidence is not always something we find before taking action. It is often something we build by taking action. Each time we make the call, share the idea, ask the question, or try something unfamiliar, we create evidence that we can handle discomfort.
The outcome may not always be what we wanted, but we learn that we are capable of responding to it.
Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is refusing to give fear the best seat in the house.
How Fear Costs Us Opportunities
Consider how many opportunities fear has talked people out of.
Someone does not apply for a position because they assume another candidate will be more qualified. An employee does not share an idea because someone might criticize it. A professional does not make an important call because rejection feels uncomfortable. An aspiring author never writes the first page because they cannot guarantee anyone will read the finished book.
Meanwhile, someone who is equally nervous raises their hand, submits the application, makes the call, asks the question, or begins writing.
That person may not be more talented. They may simply be more willing to act while afraid.
This is especially important in leadership and professional development. Leaders do not always have complete information or guaranteed outcomes. They must often make thoughtful decisions while uncertainty is still present. Professionals who wait until they feel completely confident may find that the opportunity has passed by the time they are ready.
Front-Row Living Is Not Reckless
Taking action despite fear does not mean ignoring risk or making impulsive decisions. Front-Row living is not about acting without thinking. It is about refusing to let fear make every decision for you.
Some fears contain useful information. They may reveal that you need more preparation, additional knowledge, a thoughtful plan, or trusted advice. Listen to that information, prepare appropriately, and then decide whether the risk is manageable.
The goal is not to silence fear completely. The goal is to prevent it from becoming the only voice you hear.
Three Questions to Ask When Fear Appears
The next time fear tries to stop you, ask yourself three questions.
- What am I really afraid of?
Be specific. Are you afraid of failing, being embarrassed, hearing no, disappointing someone, losing money, or discovering that you still have something to learn?
A vague fear can feel enormous. Naming the actual concern makes it easier to evaluate.
- What is the worst realistic outcome?
Focus on what is realistically likely, not the most catastrophic story your imagination can create.
Perhaps someone says no. Maybe your first attempt is imperfect. You might receive criticism or have to make a correction. Those experiences may be uncomfortable, but discomfort is not the same as disaster.
- If that happens, could I recover, learn, and try again?
Most of the time, the answer is yes.
A rejection will not destroy you. A mistake will not define you. An imperfect first attempt does not prove that you are incapable. It proves that you are learning.
Every person you admire has experienced rejection, criticism, disappointment, and failure. The difference is that they did not turn the balcony into their permanent address.
Make the Action Smaller, but Do Not Eliminate It
When an action feels overwhelming, reduce its size.
You do not have to write the entire book today. Write the first page. You do not have to know how the whole conversation will unfold. Send the email requesting the meeting. You do not have to solve the entire problem. Ask the first thoughtful question.
Making the action smaller reduces the emotional barrier while still creating movement.
Small actions also generate useful information. You may discover that the task is easier than expected, that someone is willing to help, or that the feared reaction never happens. Even when the outcome is not ideal, you gain experience that can improve your next attempt.
A Leadership Lesson About Fear
Fear does not affect only individual performance. It also shapes organizational culture.
When employees fear embarrassment, punishment, or criticism, they stop asking questions and sharing ideas. They allow preventable problems to grow because speaking up feels dangerous. They remain in the balcony professionally, even when they are physically present at work.
Front-Row leaders create conditions in which people can take thoughtful risks, admit mistakes, offer ideas, and learn. They do not promise that every idea will succeed. They demonstrate that a well-intentioned attempt will be treated as an opportunity to learn rather than a reason to humiliate someone.
Leaders should also examine the example they set. If you never acknowledge uncertainty or discuss what you learned from a mistake, employees may believe that competence requires perfection. Showing people how to recover responsibly can teach them more than pretending you never struggle.
Your Front-Row Challenge
Identify one action you have been postponing because you are afraid it might not work.
Make the action smaller, but do not eliminate it. Then do it.
Send the email. Make the call. Ask the question. Apply for the opportunity. Share the idea. Write the first page.
You do not need enough courage for the entire journey. You need enough courage to take the next step.
Fear of failure has kept more people in the balcony than failure ever has. Failure may teach you, redirect you, or strengthen you. Fear, if you allow it, will keep you watching other people live the life you were meant to pursue.
Do not give fear your Front-Row seat.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is fear of failure?
Fear of failure is the worry that an attempt may lead to rejection, embarrassment, criticism, disappointment, or an unwanted result. It can cause people to avoid opportunities before they have enough evidence to know what will happen.
How can I overcome fear of failure?
Name the specific fear, evaluate the worst realistic outcome, and decide whether you could recover and learn from it. Then reduce the size of the next action without eliminating it.
Can I take action while I still feel afraid?
Yes. Courage does not require fear to disappear. It means choosing a thoughtful action even when uncertainty or discomfort remains.
Why does confidence often come after action?
Action provides experience and evidence. Each manageable step demonstrates that you can tolerate discomfort, respond to setbacks, and continue learning.
How can leaders help employees overcome fear?
Leaders can invite questions, respond constructively to mistakes, recognize thoughtful initiative, and avoid humiliating people when an idea does not succeed. Psychological safety makes it easier for employees to speak up and contribute.
What is one small step I can take today?
Choose the smallest meaningful action that moves you forward. Send one email, make one call, ask one question, complete one application, or write one page.
About Marilyn Sherman
I’m a Hall of Fame keynote speaker, Certified Speaking Professional (CSP), and CPAE Speaker Hall of Fame inductee who helps leaders, sales teams, and organizations move from the back row to the Front-Row of success.
Through high-energy, content-rich keynotes, I help audiences strengthen their mindset, resilience, leadership, engagement, and personal accountability so they can take action, overcome obstacles, and achieve better results.
Think of me as an usher to your best seat in the house, helping people move closer to the action, focus on what they can control, take ownership of their outcomes, and enjoy the view along the way.
My signature Front-Row Success keynote is built around the memorable S.E.A.T. framework:
S: See the results you desire. Get clear about what success looks like.
E: Energize your focus. Direct your energy toward what matters most.
A: Adjust your attitude. Choose the mindset you bring to every situation.
T: Develop tenacity. Keep moving forward when the path becomes difficult.
