What lessons can you learn from loss? Today marks one year since I lost my beloved Frenchie—my husband of 20 years, my partner, my cheerleader, and the one who brought endless joy and laughter into my life.
This past year has been an extraordinary journey through grief, and in the spirit of honoring him, I want to share three lessons I’ve learned from this excruciating year, that went by extremely fast.
1. Anxiety Is Real Before this year, I had never truly experienced anxiety. But grief has a way of showing up in unexpected forms—mentally, emotionally, and even physically. I knew it was coming, but I didn’t know what form it would take. Now, when someone tells me they’re anxious, I don’t try to fix it or tell them to “get over it.” I simply sit with them. I listen. I understand. Because I know what it feels like when your heart races, but you can’t explain why. Compassion has become my new instinct. If you know someone struggling with anxiety, resist the urge to offer solutions. Offer your presence instead. Sometimes the most healing thing we can say is, “I’m here.”
2. The Value of Friendship Grief illuminated just how powerful friendship can be. My friends showed up for me in ways I never expected—calls, meals, visits, cards, and quiet companionship. Their love, along with the love of family, became an anchor in my storm. You don’t need a crisis to value your friends. Reach out today—just because. Tell them how much they mean to you. True friends aren’t just there for the celebration; they’re there for the balcony moments in our life, helping shine a light to move us back to the front.
3. Capture the Joy One of the greatest gifts my Frenchie left behind was the videos he made. He was famous in our family for sending videos of us singing happy birthday, especially to loved ones living in France. Now, when I want to reflect on Yves and his extraordinary life, I can pull up these videos and see his joy, his humor, his charisma. Those moments are treasures beyond words.
So, take the photo. Record the video. Capture your loved ones in joy, in laughter, in the everyday. In a moment of grief, you’ll be able to pull up a memory that will put a smile on your face.
From Grief to Gratitude This year has taught me that loss doesn’t end love—it refines it. Grief doesn’t mean forgetting—it means remembering differently. And friendship, empathy, and memories can lift you from the balcony of despair back to the front-row of gratitude.
If you’re walking through loss right now, you are not alone. Know this: resilience isn’t about bouncing back. It’s about moving forward—one breath, one memory, one act of love at a time.
Your Head Usher,
Marilyn
