Have you ever had something in your house that annoys you every single day? A drawer that sticks. A light bulb that’s out. A pile of stuff you walk past every morning.
Every time you see it, you think, “I really need to do something about that.”
And six months later…there it is!
We all have things we tolerate, and some of them are no big deal. But what about the things you’re tolerating that are quietly stealing your energy?
Maybe it’s a task you keep moving from one to-do list to another. Maybe it’s a difficult conversation you know you need to have. Maybe it’s a boundary you haven’t set. Or perhaps it’s one of your own habits that you know isn’t serving you anymore.
These things may seem small individually, but tolerating them day after day can take up more mental and emotional energy than we realize.
What Does It Mean to Tolerate Something?
Tolerating something means continuing to put up with a situation, behavior, problem, or habit even though it is causing frustration, stress, or draining your energy.
Sometimes tolerating something is necessary. There will always be circumstances we cannot control.
But there is an important difference between accepting what you cannot change and tolerating what you could change but haven’t.
Think about something in your life that regularly irritates you. Every time you encounter it, you think about it. You complain about it. You avoid it. You get frustrated by it.
And then you do absolutely nothing about it.
That cycle costs you energy.
How Can Tolerating Things Drain Your Energy?
When we leave problems unresolved, they can continue occupying our attention even when we aren’t actively dealing with them. That unfinished task, unresolved conversation, cluttered space, or unspoken boundary can become mental background noise.
It’s not always the size of the problem that matters. It’s how often the problem takes a little piece of your attention.
You walk past the pile and think about it again.
You see the unfinished task on your list and feel guilty again.
Someone crosses a boundary and you get frustrated again.
You think about the conversation you need to have and avoid it again.
That’s energy you could be using somewhere else.
Sometimes the things draining our energy take less time to fix than we spend thinking about them, complaining about them, or avoiding them.
What Is a Toleration Audit?
One way to identify these hidden energy drains is to conduct what I call a Toleration Audit.
Ask yourself one simple question:
What am I tolerating right now that’s costing me energy?
Don’t overthink it. Start writing.
It might be something physical in your environment. It might be a task you’ve been procrastinating on. It could be a relationship issue, an overdue conversation, a commitment you no longer want, a habit you want to change, or a boundary you need to establish.
Once you identify what you’re tolerating, decide which of three actions it requires:
Fix it. Address it. Accept it.
When Should You Fix It?
If the problem is something within your control and you can fix it, fix it.
Change the light bulb. Cancel the subscription you never use. Clean out the drawer. Make the appointment. Finish the task you’ve moved from Monday to Tuesday to Wednesday for the past three weeks.
We sometimes spend more energy dreading a task than it would take to complete it.
Look at your toleration list and ask, “Which of these could I simply take care of?”
Then take care of one.
You don’t have to overhaul your entire life. One completed task can remove one source of mental clutter and give you some of that energy back.
When Should You Address It?
Some things cannot simply be “fixed” because they involve another person.
Maybe someone continually interrupts you. Maybe a colleague consistently misses deadlines that affect your work. Maybe you keep saying yes to something when you really want to say no. Maybe someone in your life has no idea that something they’re doing is bothering you because you’ve never actually told them.
That’s when you need to address it.
Have the conversation. Ask for what you need. Clarify the expectation. Set the boundary.
And stop expecting people to read your mind.
Avoiding a difficult conversation doesn’t necessarily make the problem disappear. Sometimes it simply means you continue paying the energy bill for it.
When Is It Better to Accept Something?
Then there are things we simply cannot change.
We cannot control every circumstance. We cannot control other people’s choices, personalities, opinions, or reactions. We cannot change something that has already happened.
When something is truly outside your control, continuing to fight against the reality of it can become its own energy drain.
That’s when the choice may be acceptance.
Acceptance doesn’t necessarily mean you like the situation or approve of it. It means recognizing what is outside your control and making a conscious decision about where you will put your energy instead.
Ask yourself, “Can I change this?”
If the answer is no, perhaps the next question should be, “How much more of my energy am I willing to give it?”
How Does This Connect to Front-Row Success?
You can’t bring Front-Row energy to your life when you’re spending too much of that energy tolerating things you could change.
Front-Row Success isn’t always about making a giant life change. Sometimes it’s about paying attention to the seemingly small things that are keeping you distracted, frustrated, or stuck.
What are you putting up with simply because you’ve gotten used to putting up with it?
What conversation have you been avoiding?
What boundary needs to be set?
What task needs to be completed?
What situation needs to be accepted so you can stop giving it energy?
Take the Front-Row Toleration Challenge
Here’s your Front-Row Friday challenge.
Make a list of five things you’re tolerating right now.
Don’t make it complicated. Just write down the first five things that come to mind.
Then choose ONE.
Fix it. Address it. Or accept it.
Notice what happens when you stop allowing that one thing to occupy space in your head and take energy away from the things that actually matter.
Because getting closer to the Front-Row doesn’t always require a giant life change.
Sometimes you just need to stop putting up with something that’s been stealing your energy.
And when you do, take that energy back and use it to claim your Front-Row seat.
